我们还没有真正开始过
直觉令我不安
注意到米尼的时候她刚刚失恋，她、我、还有她失恋的对象都在一个办公室里，终日抬头不见低头见。
应该说，米尼从恋爱到失恋的一幕幕都曾经很真实地在我面前上演——在米尼的座位上，我看到那个男生轻手轻脚地放下一只硕大的米奇玩偶；在茶水间，我看到他们偷偷牵手；在车站，我看到他们你侬我侬紧紧搂在一起……
当然，我也无法回避地看到他们争吵，并且听到那个男生用一种极其的温柔的语调与其他女孩煲电话粥。终于有一天早晨，我走进办公室时发现那只几乎毁成了破絮的米奇正可怜地躺在垃圾筒里。
我始终是一个安静的旁观者，也许正因为如此，才更容易了解米尼的真正个性——她属于那种喜怒哀乐都容易走极端的女孩，她恋爱的时候，感觉身边所有人都和她一起上了“天堂”；而她一旦失恋，那简直就是到了“世界末日”。
然而失恋的米尼并没有把自己的“极端”表露出来，她没有在办公室里掉泪更不会无理取闹。她只是保持着安静，一种异乎寻常的安静——办公室里再也听不见米尼的笑声甚至说话声，她忽然就变成了空气那样，在我们身边悄无声息地出没。
我突然觉得不安！暗地里，我曾经很“多事”地向那个男生提起过，说米尼这样的状态让人担心。可是那个男生却表现得不屑，他说他和米尼已经没有关系了，大家都是成年人，处理事情应该很成熟。
他不以为然的态度更激起了我对米尼的莫大同情，但如果不是那次偶遇，我也许永远不会知道，米尼对待失恋的疗伤方法竟然会是那样！
她求我保守秘密
不久后的一个周末，我路过离公司不远的一家餐厅，无意间看到坐在角落里的米尼。米尼独自坐着，貌似很安静，可再仔细一瞧我吓得差点跳起来——米尼的右手手掌正机械地在桌下墙壁上用力磨挲，而那里的墙壁是一种非常粗砺的石面！
我一下子冲进去，惊了餐厅里所有人。米尼显然也被吓了一大跳，但是立刻展开一个很牵强的笑容，对我说：“阿信，你怎么会来？”
我哪里还顾得了回答，一把抓过她的手。我的天，她的手腕附近布满了一个个灼伤的痕印，此时旧伤还未褪，刚被磨出的道道伤痕正在渗出鲜血。“米尼，你这是干什么，发疯啦？”我忍不住大叫了起来，而米尼脸色煞白地跳起来就跑。
我打定了主意不能让她继续一个人呆着，匆忙扔了100元埋单后便开始一路紧紧跟随。记不清这样亦步亦趋地尾随着米尼走过多少条马路，米尼终于停下来，一脸平静地说：“你不要跟了，我不会怎样的！只是有时候我忍不住会难受，才会这样……不过，很快就会好的！”说完这些，米尼的眼泪大颗大颗地掉了下来。
那一刻，我心痛得不知该如何形容。我固执地把米尼送到家，见到米尼的伤，她妈妈立刻掉下了眼泪，还哭着说：“米尼，你再这样下去，叫妈妈怎么活呀！”
接下来的两个小时里，我从米尼的家人那里了解更多关于米尼的事情——米尼的上一段校园恋爱曾经让全家有了不堪回首的回忆，因为她潜在的强迫症让她比常人更难以消化任何一个她不能接受的变化。但与此同时，米尼又有着比其他人更敏感的自尊，这正是为什么她不选择离开或是争取，只是默默自虐缓解心里的痛苦。
我离开她家的时候，米尼求我为她保守秘密，而她的妈妈，则用一种可怜的语气恳求我，帮忙照看米尼。
别把自己赔进去
我不能眼睁睁看着米尼这样自虐，事实上我也明白，我对米尼有着一种混合的感觉——同情、打抱不平、保护欲，当然，也有隐约好感。然而在对小鱼提起米尼的时候，我隐瞒了最后一点：好感。
小鱼是我交往了半年的女朋友，我们的故事甚至不能称为故事——老同学一起去K歌，小鱼是同学的朋友，朋友中就我俩还是单身，于是，便理所当然地被“撮合”到了一起。
有时候我会感慨“造物弄人”，对于米尼而言恋爱大过天、大过命，而若是小鱼，我相信这样的事情也许永远不会发生。小鱼是一个容易开心也容易满足的女孩子，这也是我毫不犹豫地把米尼的事情告诉她的原因，以表示我的坦诚。
但是当我把故事原原本本地告诉了小鱼以后，小鱼扁了扁嘴，说：“别把自己也赔进去了就好。”
她最担心的人是我
从那以后我和米尼之间的关系有些微妙。米尼在办公室里依然很安静，只有在我迎面走过时她才会抬头对我笑笑。我常常会在MSN上给她发些好玩的动画表情，午饭时候，我也会经常“碰巧”地陪她一起去。
这一切很容易让其他同事尽收眼底，大伙儿开始拿我们打趣，而我和米尼也不作任何回应。只有那个男生，开始明显地对我有了敌意。
他突然开始主动与米尼搭讪，米尼冷淡地置之不理，然而这更激起了他的嫉妒。他开始有意无意地针对我，终于有一天，他大声地在办公室说：“有人接了他的盘还那么开心，实在很可怜！”
我再也忍不住了，立刻冲上去给了他一拳，而他也立刻奋起反击……
这件事立刻成了公司的头条——关于我们两个男生为了米尼“争风吃醋”的头条绯闻。虽然没有人因此被开除，但到底还是受到了老板的严厉警告。然而我却毫不后悔，甚至还非常快乐——因为当我俩被众人拉开的时候，米尼在总目睽睽之下跑到我身边，帮我贴了创可贴，还非常温柔地说了句：“疼吗？”
第二天我有收到米尼的E-mail，里面写道：“谢谢你，昨天那场冲突让我一下子豁然开朗。我终于发现，我为这样一个人为难自己，真是不值。更重要的是，你们打架的时候，我突然发现，我担心的人是你！”
好在我们没有开始
看来，我果然把自己“赔”了进去——直到此时，我才开始认真考虑这个问题。
我发觉自己已经陷入了一个进退维谷的境地：我该告诉米尼我是有女朋友的吗？我不能想象她听了以后会有怎样的反应；我该向小鱼坦白我把自己“赔”进去了吗？但当时小鱼是这
样心无芥蒂。而对于她们两个，“不”字我都说不出口。
我潜意识地选择了逃避，一连3个星
期，都把自己安排得异常忙碌，用加班避免与米尼一起下班；争取出差以回避周末和小鱼的约会。
又一次出差回来，我突然发觉米尼的座位空了。同事玩笑地问我：“你把米尼藏哪儿去了？怎么突然就辞职了！”我愣了！
邮箱里很快又出现了米尼的E-mail，她说现在她可以走了，而我已经为她做得够多了。她还说，上周她见到了小鱼，小鱼是来公司找我的，因为已经有好久都没有见到我。无需多言，聪明而敏感的米尼立刻明白了小鱼的身份，更明白了为什么这段日子来我总是不见人影。
米尼说，幸好我没有做错事情。如果我选择离开小鱼而与她在一起，那样的话，我和那个男生也就没有什么两样了。她知道我不是这样的人，而她现在离开没有任何心理负担，也没有任何牵挂。因为好在，我们还没有真正开始过。
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